You Can't Create from "Should"


**This article was originally published on the popular Aspire Magazine blog at ~ Inspiration for a Woman's Soul™**


Hey there, creator.

I know you’re stepping into your power. I know you’re discovering how you can create your reality by aligning who you’re being with what you want. (If you haven’t gotten there yet, read this article: it will help!)

I also know that you’re probably working (as most of us are) on an ongoing deep cleaning of your unhelpful thoughts, emotions, and patterns. If that’s the case, I have a very important suggestion that will change the way you manifest in your life.

My suggestion is this: Erase the word “should” from your vocabulary.

Why? It’s simple.

You can’t create from “should.”

Just about any thought that contains the word “should” will sabotage your creation and sap your energy.

“Should” is a huge block because when you think something should be one way, or someone should be doing something, or you should be doing something, or you shouldn’t have to do something, you stop seeing your reality as it is and step into wishful thinking. It’s an artful form of denial. You float away to the Land of Should―a land of possibility, projection, and fantasy.

I get it. Maybe you shouldn’t have to deal with this thing that’s in your way―but you do, because it’s part of your current reality. Sorry ‘bout it.

You can create a different reality that doesn’t include this thing if you like―but in order to make that shift, you have to be willing to look at what’s actually happening. You can’t get where you’re going if you don’t know (or worse, don’t want to know) where you are.  You can’t create a new way of being when you’re unwilling to acknowledge the old one.


The Many Faces of “Should”

“Should” is sneaky. It creeps up on us. And, almost always, it brings a friend with it.

Self-doubt, shame, blame, inertia, guilt, and frustration all hang out with Should. They trail along after it like those goons in old mafia movies, just waiting for the boss to point a finger and say, “Get ‘er, boys!”

Think about it. When you tell yourself, “I really should have more clients in my business,” that thought doesn’t help you get more clients. It’s not a plan to expand your reach, or get more visible. Instead, it invites thoughts like, “I should, but I don’t, so something must be wrong with me.” Hello, self-doubt.

When you think, “My partner shouldn’t treat me so cruelly!” and don’t follow it up with action to change the dynamic, what you’re really saying is, “I’m powerless to stand up for myself.” Hey there, victimhood.

When you think “I should be doing X, but I’m not,” you’re either saying, “I’m not honoring my commitments” or “It’s not okay to listen to my inner knowing.” Guilt, step forward.

And when you think “The world shouldn’t be this way,” and don’t take action to change what you can, what you’re really saying is, “I blame others for how my world looks.”

So, as they say, “stop shoulding on yourself!” Instead, start looking at what is in your world. When you see the situation clearly, and stop wishing it away, you’ll know what needs to shift in order to create a new reality.

When you find yourself thinking anything that includes the word “should,” stop yourself, and replace it with a thought that includes “I will,” “I do,” or even “I want.” This will help you get out of denial and start owning what’s up in your world. It also tells the universe that you’re clear about what is, and what will be.

“I should have more clients” turn into, “I will have more clients.”

“My partner shouldn’t do that” turns into “I won’t accept that from my partner.”

“I should be doing this,” becomes “I will do this,” or “I choose not to do this, because my inner knowing is guiding me elsewhere.”

And “The world shouldn’t be this way” becomes “I will change the world.”

Hell, yeah!


Give Up “Should’ for Good

You are a creator. Your entire reality is yours to love, or to change.

When you give up “should” for good, you will start thinking more powerful thoughts. These thoughts will inspire new, more empowered emotions, which will in turn create new beliefs. The way you are being in your life will shift, and your reality will reflect this upgrade.

 So, keep an eye on those “shoulds.” When they show up, replace them with a new thought―one that speaks to both your truth and the reality you want to create. Then, follow it up with action to seal the deal!

(I choose to wrap this up now, before I get too caught up in the grandeur of it all!)


Philosopher, seeker, waymaker, coach, editor, and award-winning, best-selling author: Bryna Haynes's passion is discovering new pathways to personal growth and empowerment. Constantly challenging the status quo, Bryna is an agent for change and expansion for conscious entrepreneurs, changemakers, healers, and influencers around the world.

Bryna Rene HaynesComment